Author Archives: shivamkesari

देशभक्त की गाथा…

है दिल में भरा नफरत पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

नहीं समझता मैं संविधान के मुल्यों को पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

नहीं पालन करता मैं कानून का पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

हूँ मैं भ्रष्ताचार में लिप्त पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

कमाता हूँ मैं अवैधानिक दौलत पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

नहीं भरता मैं कोई कर पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

चल रहे हैं कई मुकदमे मुझपर पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

भरता हूँ अपना पेट मैं गरीबों के पैसे से पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

हड़पता हूँ मैं शहीदों के परिवार के लिए बनाए घर पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

लूटता हूँ अस्मत मैं ऒरतों की पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

भडकाता हूँ मैं दगें पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

करता हूँ मैं जातीय भेदभाव पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

नही दिखती लोगो में फैली अशिक्षा पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

नहीं दिखती समाज में पैठ बनाती आर्थिक भेद पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

नहीं करना चाहता मैं देश और समाज के लिए कोई त्याग पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

नहीं देना चाहता मैं देश और समाज के लिए अपने सुख का बलिदान पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

नहीं जाना चाहता मैं सीमा पर लड़ने को पर मैं देशभक्त हूँ,


नहीं दिखता मुझे गोले बारुद पर व्यर्थ होते कोष क्योंकि मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

नहीं दिखते मुझे सीमा पर गिरति लाशें क्योंकि मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

नहीं समझ पाता मैं कि उस कोष से पुरी अशिक्षा मिट सकती है क्योंकि मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

नहीं समझ पाता मैं कि उस कोष से सभी को गुणवत्ता भरी स्वास्थ्य सेवा मिल सकती है क्योंकि मैं देशभक्त हूँ,

हूँ मैं देशभक्त क्योंकि इससे ही मेरी नय्या चलती है,

हूँ मैं देशभक्त क्योंकि इससे ही मेरी रोटी सीकति है,

हूँ मैं देशभक्त क्योंकि इसका दामन ओढक़र समाज में अपनी पैठ बनाता हूँ,

हूँ मैं देशभक्त क्योंकि इसका चोला पहनकर वोट मांग पाता हूँ,

गर्व है मुझे कि इंसानी मूल्यों से ज्यादा देशभक्ति के मूल्य दिखाता हूँ,

जवानों को सरहद पर भेजकर यहाँ मलाई बैठकर खाता पाता हूँ।


For #DESHBHAKT of India, China and Pakistan alike without any Prejudice and Discrimination….

Efforts of Ambedkar…


In many government offices April 14, Birth Date of Dr. Bhim Rao Ambedkar, is declared as public holiday in order to mark respect and homage to him as father of our constitution which is egalitarian in ethos. Being a office of public utility rarely we get public holidays. Just to enquire about whether 14th will be a Holiday or not I asked a clerk of my office who keep pre-information of holidays. He denied. It was not a matter, but what he said few seconds afterwards was something to take pity on him and his wisdom. He uttered ‘there is no holiday for ambedkar- fambedkar ’ to himselfCaste/Varna of the person as per Hindu Social order doesn’t need to be mentioned.

Apathy of the clerk for Dr. Ambedkar could well be understood by observing efforts made by Dr. Ambedkar in ensuring egalitarian Indian Social Structure by breaking domination of Brahmana’s System of Varna/Caste Social Hierarchy. He was the person who advocated for equal social status not only for Shudras in Hindu Varna System but also for women of India. He shattered Brahmana’s and Kshatriya domination by introducing reservation system in Indian Constitution itself. He  tried to bring social justice to socially backward community who were subjugated and subjected to coercively serve community of upper varnas. He tried to provide them fundamental freedom in a free India with all dignity and rights.

Through Vedic, post Vedic, Ancient, Medieval and Modern ages Hindu Brahmana had made all effort to maintain their domination and acknowledge themselves as supreme  in the social hierarchy. The method had been through discriminatory religious texts and literature specially Puranas, Manu-Smriti and other Dharma-Shastras. Breaking of Social Order of Varna system has been described by them as sin of highest order which will lead to advent of Kaliyuga; and whoever breaks such order will face severe consequences in Naraka. Even Bhagvad Gita has been used to ask Hindu follower to protect their Dharma by performing their duties as per their Varnas.

In history their source of livelihood has been fees/rent for performing religious rituals. To ensure their monopoly in performing ritual practices they had authorised Kshatriya Community as preserver of Social Order. They even didn’t hesitated in acknowledging a ruler as lineage or descent of god. This practice established legitimacy to the ruling dynasty and they were accepted as patron of the population. Vaishya were assigned productive role and as tax payers while Shudra were to serve other three as labourers. By the time of Gupta period there emerged a fifth category of community who were acknowledged as untouchable and were assigned menial works and were outcasted from the society. They had to live on outer fringes of the village and even their shadow was thought of as inauspicious.

For various state religious rituals and Vedic sacrifices Brahamana were given land grants and other rewards by the King/ruler. This made them land lords and later on freedom were given to them to rule over the rewarded territory and maintain law and order. They were free to punish as per their whims and fancies, brunt of which fell upon people who wanted to overcome this Brahmanical domination. Religion of Buddhism and Jainism emerged as rescue for them from this domination but intolerance policy and persecution of followers of these religions by Ruler of Shunga, Gauda and other Hindu dynasties failed their effort. These religion are now concentrated in few pockets of India and hardly population of their followers crosses mark of Crores. Though Buddhism had flourished well and adopted by people of Japan, South Korea, South East Asia, China, Central Asia but in India their population is negligible. All credit goes to intolerant attitude of Brahamanised Hinduism.

With respect to women, Manu-smriti, DharmaShastra etc regard women as property of men and women have to follow men as per men’s wish. Hindu religious laws had called that a perfect wife is the one who serve her husband as slave and on his death follow him to death through practice of Sati. Education, learning of Vedic Texts etc were clearly denied to women. Rather they were property in the hand of men and not a human. Even today dictates of religious texts are used to subjugate women in patriarchal society. It was effort of Dr. Ambedkar in promulgating Reformed Hindu Codes as nation wide legislation through Indian Parliament which enhanced position of women in India as equal to men in almost every social aspects.

These were menaces of Brahmanised Hindu Religion and society which Dr. Ambedkar tried to eradicate through our constitution. This caste system is something very peculiar to Hinduism and had harshly affected progress and development of the society as a whole.

Even in this secular India which is thriving on modern scientific temper all effort is being made all around to maintain this social order and distinctions and discriminations based on this order. This could well be observed if we minutely observe the current trend of nationalism which enforces Hinduism or rather say Brahmanised aspect of Hinduism which acknowledge their supremacy over society.

Theirs hegemony is of millennia, establishment of order of equality and equity will take its own course; effort must not be diminished.

Oh God, Where are you…


Oh God, Where are you,
People are fighting in the name of you,
Come and see chaos in this world,
Never hesitating to deprive human of their blood.

They call you all mighty,
but has created division in the society,
don’t know what their motive is,
but its sure,
Love and compassion of the religion is about to cease.

Society is struggling with sectarian rife,
orthodoxy and bigotry is now part of their life.
More than love for our own religion,
hatred has been cultivated for other’s religion.

We had learnt you are one,
but we follow path of none.
If the religion creates division,
then it needs a reformative revision.

Oh God, I have doubt on you,
you created us or we created you!
More than the purpose of spiritual,
your name has now become something political.

How can you turn such a blind,
you are god, can’t you rule our mind?
Make us follow the path of peace,
love and compassion without prejudice.

One more thing oh my god,
people call you as saver, do you nod?
Then why they create a havoc
In the name of saving a saver, do they mock?

If you call us children of yours,
then why discriminations so much sores,
Crores of peoples daily sleep hungry,
didn’t this makes you angry?

I now doubt your existence,
and in the temples, mosques and churches your presence.
Your are creation of the fear,
incapable to wipe our tear.

I denounce my faith and belief in you,
I will loose nothing in lieu.

Rather wasting time in your praise,
I will make effort for the society to raise.
In my path I may be lone,
but, eventually on realisation of truth
people will join who may or mayn’t be my known.

With No God, No lord, No religion,
society will face not this division.

Freedom of Choices…


There are instances of tweets, Facebook posts, news feeds, videos activities and other similar media gupshups done by celebrities. These trend is particularly followed just before release of their movies or immediately after the release. Many times its no more than a movie’s promotion box and fades out. I do respect and support their initiatives and moves in this direction but please make it on regular basis not just for commercial purpose.

From my archive found something which I had penned down when ‘My Choice’ video of Deepika Padukone was circulating in media. We don’t know how much impact that video made on patriarchal society but its for sure the actress and its subject faded into oblivion.

My version of ‘My Choice’ is based on what choices do women from a town, villages aspires for. These aspirations are entirely distinct from aspirations of our celebrities and rare effort is made by the society to ensure them freedom of their choices.

The list is not exclusive and many more choices may be added…

1. My Choice not to marry a person who demands Dowry.

2. My Choice to move out of Parda and do a job and not domestic chores.

3. My Choice to marry a person inferior or superior than me or not marry at all.

4. My choice to say no for consent to have physical relationship.

5. My Choice to have my own surname.

6. My choice to wear what I wish.

7. My choice to roam & move where I want and whatever time I wish.

7. My choice to have/bear my child no matter of her/his gender or to not bear at all.

8. My Choice to claim for paternal property.

9. My Choice to get divorced if marriage relationship is no more peaceful. 

10. My choice not to leave my maternal home after marriage.

11. My Choice to join armed forces in full commission. 

12. My Choice to compete with men all around.

13. My Choice to talk about menstruation openly.

14. My Choice to run home business and work on the farm.

15. My Choice  not to fast or ask husband to fast with me in religious occasions.

Miss Deepika, the video My Choice of you can’t be appreciated aloud for whole woman in India. Issues you raised was just for few woman of highly advanced westernised world and no where can be connected to woman of India.

You were paid to act. 

If you really want to empower women in India then at least move out of your comfort zone and visit a village to know the problem. 

 99 of you may bring a change in at least 99 villages with just stepping in the village.

Its was ur choice to be paid to promote adultery which is illegal and you did it and its my choice to criticise you.

The Contradictions…


Today evening when I was on the terrace in leisure I was just watching sky and imagining its depth; what do exists beyond that sky? Even astronomers couldn’t predict it. But the sky is one for every being on this earth. One Sun, one Moon, one Earth and indefinite number of stars. The shine of the Sun is for everyone, the shade of the evening is for everyone and darkness of the night is for everyone without biasness and discrimination. In the midst of my thought a humble sound of arti from my neighbourhood came to my ear to distract me from wondering this world. The week is being of Hindu Chaitra Navratra and the chant was for ‘Maa Ambe’. Now my imagination shifted from what exists far beyond that sky to how religion has bounded people. How we defy One Sun, One Moon, One Sky One Earth and divide ourselves in religions and further by different political boundaries. Again a deep thought came to me – What’s the purpose of existence of living beings in this world? Who created us? And my first contradiction which I noticed was — I didn’t believe in existence of god but again feel that there is something, some force, invisible energy which has created the universe, which has intrinsically woven every lives on the planet, and may be on different planets; but couldn’t apprehend what this force or energy is, but surely not the god/goddess whom we worship. The force/energy created life out of Carbon, Hydrogen, Nitrogen, Oxygen and similar other elements by different combinations of chemical reactions and  bonding and physical atomic forces. The real quest is from where do these chemical elements occurred and why they chemically reacted and bonded together to create life. Why do human beings evolved? Who drives mind of these creatures? and god created us or we created god?

Now again a small creature distracted me, this was a mosquito. Why these disturbing and nuisance creatures came into life. Do they also have some purpose in their life apart from biting and infecting human beings with Malaria, Dengue etc; or this is their’s only purpose. Diseases like malaria and dengue had taken high toll on life of human beings and there must be no mosquito. Medical technologies must be advanced to cure people of every type of diseases and endow them with lengthy life. Yes, life expectancy has improved a lot with development in medical sciences and technologies. The Earth must be secured from all deadly viruses and bacteria. The second contradiction appeared. Does this virus and bacteria also have some task to accomplish assigned to them!!! To kill human beings!!! No how could they kill us, human beings are very intelligent social animals. But, we had caused must devastation to this Earth than what these deadly creatures had done to us, and this destruction to the planet was at high growth with modernisation and advent of anti-biotic drugs and medicines to have control over deadly Viruses and bacteria. These micro creature controlled overgrowth of human population – the deadliest animal as of now. Isn’t it great that these micro creature has unique capability to mutate their genes to develop resistance against latest anti-microbe drugs and survive and control human population. These microbes are earth/eco/environment friendly creatures and they must be protected and preserved.

Maa Ambe’s chant was now loud and fast in tempo as it was about to end. The family was in vigour, may be they were blessed by Maa Ambe!!!  The third contradiction appeared. Why not Maa Ambe bless everyone equally? Is she driven by paternalistic and aristocratic thinking who discriminate between people who hail for her and who doesn’t just as what our political leaders do, why not she protect everyone equally and feed every one with dignity, is she biased? If No, then why there is so much division and menaces in society, and if she is biased, they why should we respect her!!!

Don’t know whether god discriminate between people of different religion, faith and belief but the breeze, high in humidity, which was soothing and refreshing me was probably coming from Bay of Bengal crossing numerous towns, villages, forests, lands. It didn’t discriminated. Meanwhile, I think the mosquito to which I left after she sting me and sucked by blood has called her friends to find in me an easy prey. They attacked on me and I has to stop my imagination and get contradicted in my imaginations. Thanks to them to save my time. But the life of contradiction continues with out any answer of our existence and purpose in the world. Highly puzzled.

The Resource Curse…


In economic sphere it is often understood that a territory endowed with natural resources is endowed with wealth for prosperity and development. This often stands true and make us believe the same when we look western nations on how they had prospered on these resources over time. But in India, for few of the states reality is entirely different. Here exists a close link between endowment of natural resources and prevalence of poverty and under-development. Stark example in India are states of Jharkhand, Odisha and Chhattisgarh. These are richest states of the country in reserves of natural mineral resources but there is contrast with poverty existing in these states.   They also are poorest states of the country. One more thing common to them are the left wing extremism – The Naxalites.

Richness of natural resources is thriving many mining industries in these territories but it is also displacing people. Minerals are being excavated just to sell for utilisation in other parts of the country and developing them leaving land of extraction polluted and devastated. These states has just been raw material supplier for the western states of the country which drives the economy of India. But this cycle couldn’t alleviate poverty from the states satisfactorily. As Jharkhand and Chhattisgarh are newly created state and data of poverty since Independence couldn’t be collected, but Odisha doesn’t show a rosy picture of poverty reduction rate either.

On getting into this problem we find a correlation between mining of resources from these states, sustenance poverty level of people in these states and presence of Naxalite activities.

Decision makers still believes that only development will resolve naxalite issues in these states and there exists lobbying for opening of new mines and mining operations under the facets of developing the state. My just one question who are with this opinion that new mining operations  will develop the state is— “Since independence, where we digging the earth in these states to make terraces for space for evening game and entertainment of displaced tribals and sight seeing of anthropologically transformed landscape?” If we were on the path of development, how could then naxalites came alive. Is not something wrong with this development model? Displacing people from their land and rarely rehabilitating them makes them vulnerable to the forces of the economy and rarely they are enough capable to survive on their own skill sets. They have skills to survive in tribal living system highly entrenched with forest resources and not with developed world. Behind the phrase “larger public interest” we are bereaving them of their land, culture, community living, forest, natural ecosystem and their livelihood. Our perception that they are under/un-developed is misaligned and need to be corrected. In this tech-savvy world only real example to prove my words is the aboriginal tribes of Andaman & Nicobar Island; they are very much happy of what they are, how they live and survive. They didn’t need any sort of development, they have their own system of naturopathy and medicines. And I think similar would had been the situation with tribes of inland mineral rich territory of India until invaders invaded over them for resources. But, our quest and race for development and mineral resources devastated tribal system as a whole. Now they have no option other than to get integrated in alien lifestyle of diku, the term they use for outsiders

The natural resources which is thought to be endowment to mankind has actually become a curse to many, bereft of their rights they are just being enslaved as daily wage labourers in economy of today. Hadn’t mineral deposits found beneath their land, they would had lived happily in their forest dwelling woven in their community lifestyle and preserved their rich culture heritage. Now they have no identity and to restore their identity they fall to the ideology of naxalism; and only biased development has to be cursed for it.

Anti Romeo Squad or Anti Juliet Squad?


“Raju, 25, and Mala, 22, eloped in New Delhi and caused their parents so much grief they tried to have them arrested. Raju is a Dalit, while Mala belongs to a higher caste, which made things even harder. The couple was detained and taken to court — which said they could live together because the law was silent on the issue.”

If the anti-Romeo Squad would had been in existence with early days such things wouldn’t had happened; parents wouldn’t had to be in grief. The Squad is a perfect set-up to teach moral lesson to wandering couple. How these fanatic love birds roam hand in hand spoiling the ancient culture of the land. They are just spoiling our culture and society is ashamed of them…

But, why the society is not ashamed of Mr. Krishna and Ms. Radha and worship this divine couple. Didn’t we know that they were not married and used to move deep into forest on the bank of Yamuna and did whatever they wished… How shameful they were!!! There needed to be a similar squad in vrindavan, hope Mama Kans would had been active. They had ashamed our culture. But, then one thinks which culture.. Was any culture evolved at that time or was it in the process of evolution? Don’t know! But people make culture, community make culture and society make culture.

The phrase ‘Larka Larki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte’ fades away in context of another phase ‘dusre jaati ke larka larki kabhi dost nahi ho sakte’. The words of later phrase is being made meaningful by we and us. Our Neo-culture is ensuring that the structure of caste perpetuates and equally perpetuate discriminations based on these caste system.

Politically, administratively and societally sanctioned Anti-Romeo Squad is nothing but a set-up in women security get-up to ensure perpetuation of these caste distinctions. Love knows no boundary but in our society caste system has a line or limit or in mythological word Lakshman Rekha. Community need to ensure that no one crosses this Rekha. Love duo are in their divinity of togetherness, affection, care, love moving up the caste and many times religion boundary. But our cultural society didn’t accept such liberal movement. There is nothing like human love rights, all is about honour of community and society.

There is one more dimension to this Anti-Romeo Squad. How a girl in this patriarchal society dare to move free with a guy to whom she is not married and that too in a dress which doesn’t align with traditional ethnic wear; and if its 7 PM then surely she is not a good girl  and something mischievous is going to happen… Let the street lights go off. She must be harassed enough that she didn’t take daring step to roam into male’s arena after 7 PM.

Yes, scepticism of the CM could be understood because its our fault not to be cognizable enough to know the Lakshman Rekha of consent and control. In absence of these two attributes we often act to indignify a woman, no matter how much she have trust on us. The Lakshman Rekha of acceptance and force get diminished. This is again a problem of patriarchal society which believes that only men have control over sexuality of women and they can’t flaunt it without men’s consent and agreement. We are entrenched in such biased thought that the problem doesn’t lies with formation and activities of Anti-Romeo Squad but with the attitude of whole society towards female members. More than better half they are an entity to be controlled according to will, wish, whims and fancies of other half.

We need to go to ancient of India much before the era of Kama-Sutra when there was freedom to movement of female and they were free to chose their partner and elope with them. When more than the bondage of marriage it was bondage of love, affection and care. We need to discard Manu-Smriti outrightly, which is a brahmanical texts to subjugate women to men and denigrate them.

Fading Languages…


India is a land of diversity and equally diverse is its languages and dialects of the land. Though only 22 languages has been constitutionally recognised to be included in Schedule 8 of Constitution of India but it doesn’t undermine several other prominent languages which are being spoken by crores of people daily. But, unfortunately, legacy of British had valued English over native languages and dialects. Colonisation of mind that person knowing western language is more intellect, smart market oriented is something created by the globalised world to feed to their workforce requirement. Yes, there exists argument that knowing English is behind India’s software and service industries’ boom. I do accept that, I am also writing here in English, but undermining and devaluing native languages is the problem.

I feel ashamed not because I am not fluent in spoken English or sometimes do vocabulary error while writing but because neither I know well to communicate and write in my mother tongue ‘Angika’ nor father tongue ‘Bhojpuri’. Deciphering ‘Khortha Language’, local language of the place of my resident, is beyond my intellectual capacity.

If we look into facts and figures of linguistic diversity of India we will know that many of our ancient local languages and dialects are now extinct, many are on the verge of extinct and lots more are now endangered. Close to 800 languages and dialects exist across India, according to the People’s Linguistic Survey of India, an independent study conducted by Bhasha Research Centre and nearly 300 languages have gone extinct in the country since the time of independence. A loss of around 30% of languages that were thriving before independence. Bhasha’s language count includes all those in currency, irrespective of the number of users.

However if we go for Census of India surveys we will find that close to 1,600 languages were in use in 1961, 108 in 1971 and 122 in 2011. The drastic reduction in number of recorded languages between 1961 and 1971 is because languages those were spoken by less than 10,000 people were excluded from surveys after 1961. This shows reluctances of government in documentation and protection of our native languages and dialects. As per UNESCO there are 197 endangered languages in India, with 42 classified as Critically Endangered.

A modern intellectual will surely ask why so emphasis on insignificant languages which are now not more than obsolete. Dear Friend, Language is not just a media of communication but it defines a whole of culture and life. Many religion and civilisations thrive on these languages. It binds community and promotes kinship. The language is our identity. Even just analysis of tone of your words could well decipher from which part of the country you belong to. Just imagine what role a language could play.

There are also majoritarianism opinion that Hindi should be made a national language and people from southern part of India must use Hindi Language in day to day official purpose instead of English. I stand with your opinion in replacing English with Indian language but for imposing Hindi on them I will protest against it. The Hindi language which is in use nowadays is more of recent origin which hardly dates back before 19th Century. Culturally this language could not be traced with any land of the country. And language defines culture. Language of southern India could be well traced back by 2500 years, how could Hindi replace such strong historical languages.

Tribal civilisation intrinsically woven around tribal languages are treasure of knowledge of nature’s cure and well being. We had already lost cents of tribal languages and information associated with those languages in stories, couplets, songs etc. and this is irreparable loss to us. Need of the hour is to recognise our inherent strength in our dialects and languages and make effort to protect, preserve and promote them without hesitation. The least we could do is to speak in our native language with our friends and family and never make language a medium to judge someone’s intellect and intelligence. This will be one of the worst form of discrimination practiced in society.

An Open Letter to Yami and Alike…


Dear Yami,

My self Shivam from a small city Dhanbad in Jharkhand. I am not your fan but just liked your attitude and found you to be mature and sensitive enough for social cause.

But your endorsement of Fair n Lovely cosmetics for enhancing skin color/tone of face for woman is something I didn’t expected from you.

In our school sciences we all had studied that the protein Melanin is responsible for color tone of our skin and its natural. A mature person would never discriminate people based on such differences among people. I had read few celebrity gossips and found that you have always supported these values. It was this value of yours which I had always appreciated and keep a special respect for you.

We all know that Fair n Lovely can never bring fairness to ones melanin tone. It only covers up the natural skin with cosmetics layer which is light in color. Though its your personal life and your personal decision to promote the product, whatever be the reason for it.

Being a member of this society and further being admirer of you I felt something different by your involvement  in this advertisement.

This is not the only reason which urged me to pen you down my concern but the issue is more significant in aspect of discrimination based on tone of skin color. The commercial is colonising mind of masses that milky white skin color is only of worth to fit into this society. Person with dark skin color need to be segregated from normal sphere of society and they are not equal to fair skinned person. If they wish to be part of this society they must change color/tone of their skin. Here we must remember how this ideology had subjugated Indian people by Britishers who were of fair complexion compared to Indian, this racial ideology made people of Africa to serve as slave to Europeans. This ideology could never be appreciated in a civilised world. But this ideology are still being propagated by cosmetic commercial advertisements for market driven profit motive.

Further, to women who are naturally of dark complexion due to their genetic inheritance and high activity of Melanin harmon and concerned protein, these commercials quell their morale. They feel neglected in society and fall into depression. The colonised mind of eligible bachelor always seek a milky white bride and this poses problem to bride of dark complexion to get married easily. Either the family had to compromise by giving hefty amount in dowry or the groom is not of the comparable qualification as that of bride. I hope you are well aware of condition of women in Indian society and discrimination they have to face in day to day life in this patriarchal society. You might also be experiencing such patriarchal attitude in your profession and spheres which objectify a woman for one or the other benefit or purpose. This subjugation of women is much high in these remote part of the country. You might be yourself knowing about skewness in gender ratio in your Chandigarh and neighbouring Haryana.

Being a member of the society its our duty and responsibility to curb menaces which undermines Human Values and equality. We can’t imagine our life without selfless support of members of this society. This selflessness of others urges us to do our bit in best possible way. As your involvement in the commercial might be bounded by contract and you may have no control over it but I would expect you to be choosy in any such future contracts. Further, I would also appreciate if you could do something for emancipation of women and curbing discrimination based on skin color, only if effect of it will reach remote part of the country there shall be true emancipation and empowerment of women of our villages and rural settlements. In India actress and actors of screens are perceived as role model in our life and many of us draw inspiration from people like you in many spheres of our life. Your involvement in such movement will surely bring a change in our attitude and transform society. I shall always be of help to you, just let me know.

Yours sincerely

Shivam Kesari

I don’t have a girlfriend and it is not my fault.


I couldn’t make a girl friend and its not because I lacked some quality to have one. But the reason is deep entrenched in attitude of patriarchal society. I have valid arguments in this regard.

My schooling was from a Sainik School and it was and still is ‘only boys’ school prohibiting admission of girls. One well accepted reason to establish Sainik School is to prepare young children with military attitude to better fulfil need of India Armed Forces. And everyone know that until recently women didn’t had permanent commission in our Armed Forces. When Armed Forces is deemed to be place of only men then Sainik School was also deemed to be training school only for boys. The school is strictly prohibited for girls; how could I interact with one? The school days went in the status of ‘Single’.

Then I was lucky enough to get into the then Indian School of Mines, Dhanbad (IIT-ISM, Dhanbad) in the Branch of Mining Engineering. Though not enough tough like Military but it is not an easy industry too. In this institute too entry of girl student to discipline of Mining engineering was strictly prohibited (from the admission session of 2016 I think the prohibition had been lifted), though IIT KGP and IIT BHU allowed admission of girls in Mining Discipline. In this institute also the problem was of gender stereotype and patriarchal attitude that women can’t work in mining industry, it is highly male dominated; they will risk their security and safety and all; Better to prohibit their entry. It was a all boy classroom.

Yes, you may ask question why didn’t you made one from another branch….
I accepts my fault… I was not so fast, as my batchmates were… I had some different priority which they didn’t had….. it was ‘Society’.

But, my this weakness doesn’t hide away gender discrimination which society is subjecting over on education of girl children. However fast I would have been to make a girlfriend, I wouldn’t had enough fast to win a race with 400 boys for just 20 girls, only 20 of my batchmate succeeded. Yes, the ratio for girls to boys in my institute or rather every good institutes was 20:400  i.e 1 in 20. And this is something shameful for the society. We didn’t promote girls’ education equally as that of boys’ education. This ratio is still valid. It can’t be assumed that intelligence of girl is less than that of boy, but opportunity available with girl for higher/advance learning is surely less. In absence of gender discrimination, gender stereotyping and all such gender related crabs there would have been one to one ratio for boys and girls and there would been one ‘she’ for me, I didn’t would had to make any effort to get her. But societies’ patriarchal attitude bereft me of a girl friend.

Nothing achieved in college days.

Yes, I got opportunity to interact with girls in other social gatherings…. but I am also a part of society designed and structured by its gender stereotypes. Instead of  gender sensitivity I was more taught gender untouchability…. Stay away from opposite sex… Don’t interact with them…. In many social gathering they seemed to be alien…. Not to talk…. Actually we didn’t know how to talk with them, how to behave with them, how to interact with them…. For me, it was better to stay away from them!!!

Further, caste obligations imposed upon us by family and communities ensured I doesn’t cross the limit in seeking a girlfriend.


So hereby the youthful age to have a girl friend lost forever, may be I have a better luck in next life.

But, it depends in which direction patriarchal attitude of society moves…

Whether society improve over gender discrimination or it further worsen to further decline Child Sex ratio below 911… (As per the Census, 2011 the child sex ratio (0-6 years) has shown a decline from 927 females per thousand males in 2001 to 919 females per thousand males in 2011).

If this happens then … Ghar walon ko bhi shaadi ke lie larki nahi mil paegi!!!

So, I am ashamed not because I don’t have a girl friend but of the cause as to why I don’t have a girlfriend. Ashamed of gender biases, gender discrimination and gender stereotyping.

The only thing I could do now is to strive to make a gender balanced society for better future of my next generations.

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